An Urban Nightmare
March 3rd, 2006
Last night I had quite a vivid dream. If I were one to interpret visions I'd say this one represents my fear of development and the end of the rural lifestyle.
I’m walking toward Damascus, Oregon where I grew up. I see the hill where our house was, though from a birdseye perspective. Right behind it appears an industrial complex of huge metal silos like grain towers with steel trusses running between them and onto the ground. The overall effect is something like the flying buttresses of Gothic architecture melded with space-age metals. Soon the silos become more distinct in my vision and I realize they are huge condominiums (probably 15-20 stories) rising out of what used to be the woods behind my house. At that moment I remember a previous dream that I had of ascending this hill and seeing signs of construction or logging. Now I realize the entire forest has been cut down. There are people in the town whom I know. I rant to them about how the trees have been destroyed (this part of the dream seems to reflect a real conversation that Kayla and I had during the previous day when I complained that the houses we saw on our walk were set in treeless lots where the natural ecosystem had been completely paved over). The houses of my old neighborhood are somewhat intact in the circle of El Camino and Carmel, although some have been razed. Overall the feeling is one of outrage that everything from my childhood is gone, replaced with an urban complex. Also I’m very sad because I don’t know all the new people who have moved in and they have no appreciation for the old places that existed before they all arrived. I go to a sporting goods store that occupies the first story of a condo. Looking around I'm immediately bored by the store's merchandise (clothes) instead of the adventure gear I'd prefer. I mention to someone nearby that at least the new condos are better than a sprawling suburban subdivision.
1 Comment Add your own
1. Sandy Mayer | September 26th, 2006 at 3:07 pm
I have always believed that dreams mean "something" - even the most ridiculous dream has a tiny bit of meaning to our lives. If I were any good at dream interpreting, I would say that you have a fear of change, and a fear of things lost, maybe never to be recovered. But that`s just what I think. In some comments on your blog, you have mentioned leaving your religion. But I believe that if we were brought up with certain beliefs in an organized religion, there is no way to totally eradicate them from our lives. We may say that we have forsaken our religion, but it may be so deeply ingrained in us that we don`t even realize it. Others may notice it in the way we raise our children, etc., but sometimes we are blind to it ourselves. I personally believe in God, and that there is an afterlife. Otherwise, there would be no purpose to our being here on earth, other than to live exactly as we pleased 24/7. Every institution has "rules" that make it run. I think that holds true with organized religion, too. No one wants to live in a world without hope, or rules. At least I don`t want to. Your writing gives me the impression that you are rootless, all the while having fun with your family, thinking deeply, enjoying the great outdoors. But inside, I think you have an emptiness, and a feeling of not belonging to anything. Your dream might also have been a way of your subconscious telling you that you long for the past when you had the things you have abandoned. Could this be true? I hope you find more meaning in life than you presently seem to have. It must make your family and those close to you mourn for your loss. I wish you the very best in finding what you are searching for. To quote your words, perhaps you " are outraged that everything from my childhood is gone, and you don`t know all the new people who have moved in". Time for interspection for all of us.
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