Bedbugs

September 27th, 2006

There aren't many bloggers that I know of up in my immediate area. Chalk it up to my county's farflung population (less than eight people per square mile) or the infamous backwoodsey character of North Idaho inhabitants, in any case I haven't found many online writers who identify themselves with my home town. The only exception to that is Morialekafa, a retired professor who regularly writes (raves) on the subject of our country's current political leadership (reading his site, it won't take you long to determine which side of the debate he falls on).

I occasionally drop by Morialekafa's blog to see if he's posted anything regarding local issues. He has written briefly about our county fair, which is the rural answer to perpetual social isolation. Today he stayed on his favorite theme, but amidst the political speech made a foray into humor which gave me a good laugh. Enjoy.

Morialekafa's full post can be found by clicking here.

"But now to the real problem confronting America. Bedbugs. Bedbugs used to be much more common than they have been in recent years. This no doubt has to do with more enlightened standards of cleanliness, the availability of washer-dryers, the more than once a week saturday night baths, and so on. But according to reports I have heard there is now a virtual epidemic of bedbugs in the U.S. They seem to be worse in New York, San Francisco and Chicago than elsewhere, although I gather they are spreading rapidly. Bedbugs are very hard to kill and eliminate once you have them. They have not been linked to spreading diseases but they are most unpleasant, live on blood, and bite frequently anyone unfortunate enough to encounter them. I assure you, you would not want to have them. They are far worse than head or body lice.

"Now, how do you explain this sudden epidemic of bedbugs? As we have not had a big problem with them for years here in the U.S., it is probably safe to assume they have come from elsewhere. They have almost certainly come in on planes and ships, from who knows where. As far as I know no European country has admitted to bedbugs (of course it would certainly be in their best interest to lie and not admit to having bedbugs), perhaps they have come from the Middle East. Yes, I bet that is it. They are part of the terrorist organizations that are attacking us. How clever. How despicable. How sneaky. Here we have been worrying all this time about dirty bombs and such and the terrorists have outwitted us again. Bedbugs. Who would have thought it? They are going to drive us crazy with itching and bedbugs. And it is all Bill Clinton's fault. If he had captured or killed Osama bin Laden we wouldn't have to put up with all these bedbugs. But as he made no attempt to get bin Laden, as Bush/Cheney have (just ask Condi Rice), this is the price we are having to pay for his inactivity."